Scooter, Scoots, The Scootly One, The Scootinator, Scoots The Barbarian, Scootnik, and Sonny Tufts

Steven Douglas Baughman

Scooter. Where to begin? Scoots had been rescued as a kitten, by a couple of guys who worked at a tire shop. It was cold and the snow was deep and he’d lost both ears and most of his tail to frostbite. But he’s a tough bastard.

The guys couldn’t keep him–landlords–so they looked for a new home for him. One potential adopter thought he was ugly(!) which is just ridiculous; he’s a cat, not a potential boyfriend. And despite his ears, he’s actually a very handsome boy.

So it fell to us. We went to meet him, and we immediately found out why they’d named him Scooter. Eventually they caught him and once we got him home, it was like he’d always been our cat.

He’s always run the show here, which is why the militariana. But even a steadfast authoritarian is capable of a little madness. I really wish we could get him to stop mounting Jesse James; Jesse wishes we could too. And preying on Little Dude. And yowling at the bedroom door.

[shut up, scoots]