Nineteen and the Ocean

Mike Denison (Lumberfork)

This is a song my late-night self apparently left for my morning self to think about. I admit it just keeps gnawing at me, maybe not in a good way.

…

Nineteen, standing by the ocean for the first time
Gazing long at the sea feeling the weight of a lie
Salt cuts deep into the cracks on my lips
Scratches my throat and lungs, and carves away at my eyes

Her anger billows and her breakers shimmer and thrash
She curses me with fierce, deafening crash
But I just cry
I just cry

Gently she splashes my toes as if to remind me to breathe
While she tears and hammers at shores with the power of god
Secrets she’s kept hidden deep out of sight
Under her terrible might
Through centuries raging and long

She tries to warn me with the beating of an endless typhoon
Sparkling eyes blink forever beneath the light of the moon
But I just nod
I just nod

I smile as I step in
She pushes back again and again
I dive I fight I swim, I swim

I don’t know what’s ahead but I know what’s behind
I know if I stay I’ll be losing my mind
Press on press on and swim
Don’t let her win
Don’t let her win

Further and further so many stars
Dreams are empty, memories scars
Then suddenly I’ve gone just a little too far

Hands heavy and numb and everything cold
Lungs fill with water, no I’m not growing old
Stars fade away and the sky turns black
But there’s no going back
I’m already gone
She can keep my secrets from now on