I Wish I Had a Wife That I Could Steal From

A total jerk with a life plan.
……
I Wish I Had A Wife That I Could Steal From

Though I may be poor
And not a whole lot more
I’m a coward as dumb as dirty rain
There is a darker side to me
That most of you will never see
Because its always leaving on the train
I will learn new affections
Because love is an infection
I will teach myself to steal from every dish
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
I wish I had a wife that I could steal from

I’m a bit of bad dream
A boat shit outta stream
I’m a traitor, and a lousy one at best
There is a secret place
Where I wear a secret face
And I put each broken promise to the test
I will not be defeated
By the life I have mistreated
I will never fall a victim to a kiss
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
I wish I had a wife that I could steal from

Where will I go
When the sky starts to snow
And I don’t have the money for a coat?
Can I get a witness
To my debilitating sickness
I’m allergic to employment and that’s no joke

[break]

I’m a loser to the core
A debilitating bore
I’m a Galahad who’s had it up to here
I’m no knight in shining leather
My brain is lighter than feather
And I do not understand the things I fear
Well, I shall not lie down easy
When my conscience makes me queasy
I don’t follow my best judgment or my bliss
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
But I wish
I wish I had a wife that I could steal from
Yeah
I wish I had a wife that I could steal from