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by Alex Dionisio

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Who's The Jerk, Chicken?

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(samples music from “You’re A Jerk (Instrumental)” by New Boyz, produced by Dominic “Legacy” Thomas)

Tell me ‘cause I’m curious, have you ever heard my jams before?
Is that cancer? Or is it just a canker sore?
Cantankerous? They’ve never ever had anger before
So they’re not furious, their OS doesn’t support my grand accord
What’s the difference between a dessert chef and a drug dealer? Nothing
Do you do it once in a while, or is it constant?
I see you seek to make people pleased and smile, but kid…
Do that shit the vegan version and maybe we can talk then
Do you beat off to the sound of drums? To what extent and
Do you ogle pictures of little kids? That’s disturbing and disgusting
That profession then, it must be a great blessing for you
Otherwise, to your own devices, you’d be obsessing on fools all on your devices
Tell me, what exactly were you sent or put here to do?
If you know it, that’s where you’d get your real high—hot air balloon
Weed makes you less ambitious, take it from me
It slows you down, you’re already in stasis—stationary
Be careful what you wish for, sniff up or inject up ‘cause I’m telling you…
My pen is always ready with paper, stationary
Let’s not beat around the bush, why do you exist? Is it just to get high?
You must want to die
What is your aversion to life?
I guess it’s true, you can’t teach an old dawg new tricks
And you can’t teach a robo how to think like a human being
Does your rowboat flow, or does it sink in the sewage stream?
On this rocket, I’ve only spotted a few that have not been pulled underneath
But we’ll get there, if only just one—me
Repeat after me: there will only ever be just one me
Try not copying these retarded morons just once and you’ll see what I mean

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