Phat

Alex Dionisio

You’re a fat fuck
If you have a son, probably a fat son
Everyone you know is fat, son
I know the deal
As a kid you were lean
But became a fat adult
And adults don’t fat shame a fat adult
Bad result
‘cause now the job falls on me
You’re a fat asshole
Your asshole hasn’t seen much action
Since they sent you up the flagpole as a tadpole
Or besides your boyfriend’s damn toll
But for real, fatso
Look at what you eat, fatboy, fatgirl
Your fats are sat
So your seat almost collapsed
When you sat your fat ass on that
This also goes for thin fat people
You’re not a tank
But we all know you have fat stacks in your fat bank
But it’s a fat culture
Get off the oil and animal foods, won’t ya?
Deep down no one wants to fuck you
They might have a fat fetish
But you’re a fat nasty nig nog so fuck you
Have some oatmeal, beans on toast
Or a bean burrito
All you keto people, make the connection
Your gurus are fake as a head wig
Your diet’s a dead end
Since no one teased you yet
It falls on me to do it
You fuck up everything, you huge fat ass, you
Your mama’s so fat, your family’s so fat
But don’t be mad at me that you’re fat
You should commit suicide
Or commit to a diet
And vegans..
Get off the fried shit
Losers is you
The only way you might change
Is if I bite your brain
If I was nice
You would say fuck it
And go back to ice cream
Icing, onion rings, whatever
All your problems stem from what you eat
You’re addicted to that greasy mouth feel
Try some Raisin Bran
Veggie soup, pasta and red sauce
You made yourself mad
‘cause you’re a giant sick fat body and
Eat only potatoes with the skin
And just them for some span
Otherwise you’re just a fat nasty dumbass
And also probably a fuck ass
No fat bitch can be attractive
And no fat man has a cock that’s fat, man
This is from the heart in fact
I too was once large and fat
So don’t get a heart attack, fats
And don’t get breast cancer, lass
To get that is bad
It’s hard to get rid of that, the latter
It’s unnatural
So if you want a better life
Cut out butter and cheddar
Cut out the cheese
And some other things
Cut the mustard
Cut the mustard greens
But you will cut the cheese so to speak
If you know what I mean
In closing, you’re a fat sucker
And your life’s a big fat nothing
So go and do something about that problem