showdown

the ever growing night
hides the sight of your sleeping body
and slide right in next to you
and try my best to hold you tightly
just an hour earlier
so hard to hear above the screaming
and left alone at 1 a.m.
this futile gesture lost in dreaming
too many times I couldn’t stop
too many times I should have stopped
now lieing here, so silently
my beating heart drowns out your breathing
I want to hug you wide awake
and go back to the early evening
where all was bright and lovely moments
two lovers loving, lovers loving
before the spark that came upon us
and threw us down the stairs of misery
even though I knew I should have stopped
even then I could make it stop
now through the ever growing night
I lie in pain a losing battle
the end result will never alter
how much I love you and always will
I can’t explain, my defense faulters
and in the end it always ends like this
sound the retreat to separate quarters
and wait for all the smoke to clear
I’m ready to stop
waving my surrender flag