Cnidophobic to the Max

Frederick E. Slidepole & The Bugs Who Took Over...

Among the special guests are Horkmeijer Springtail and his lovely choir of snow fleas providing backing vocals and the very doomed John LaSala on lyrics and lead vocals.

Under shoes:
issued dire adieux.

Too few legs:
the world’s new filthy dregs
(with too few legs.)
(Stick them on pegs!)
(Watch how it begs!)

On the odd attack
with mandibles that click and clack.
They’ve got us all entomophobic–cnidophobic to the max!

Bones inside:
you’d better run and hide!

I can’t count them all.
Believe me, I have tried but I can’t count that high.
(eight trillion, nine hundred and seven four billion, three hundred and sixty six million, two hundred thousand, nine hundred and seventy two…)
Oh, what we would not give to be harpactophagic and turn this into a feast!
After all the stridulation ceases, fritinancy only takes its place.

First the flies came and landed on food–our food that had not even been chewed.
Then the ants started up with their chants and rants about kicking in their ant holes.
Oh, but then, just when we thought this was little more than strange,
it happened.
It happened.
God, help us find a way to end this pain.

Hail King Gnat, our
beloved Kosmokrator,
(fit for combat)
(Yeah, he’s no prat,)
(no scaredy-cat,)
(wears a cravat,)
(and chews the fat.)
(He flies flat-hat,)
(plays tit-for-tat.)
(His threads are phat!)
(Yeah, he’s all that!)
(He taxes flat,)
(was once begat.)
(He smells a rat,)
(had the job of king down pat,)
(just like Sadat,)
(till one day: splat!)