Close(I missed you)

*is

Please listen with headphones.

For Shawn D and Ellen; for a missed chance to be close. A missed chance for a first hug and for a final hug, respectively.
And for anyone deeply longing for but also so afraid of intimacy.

Kat: vocals, lyrics, keys

I didn’t want to be this close
I’m on the outside
I was only fetching fire
from your bedside
I’m not one of them, I never will be
only I know why
I just wanted to be here
to watch them cry
Painted eyes, feeling so pretty
washed away at some motel
choking on the regret while a family breaks bread
and they won’t see me cry
no, they won’t see me cry
And I’m on the outside…

They’re there
and they don’t have the words
they will miss you, they will miss you
that’s all I heard
There, there
I had nothing to say
but I missed you, oh, I missed you
when I ran away, I ran away, I ran away
and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry

I didn’t want to be this close
I’m on the outside, I’m on the outside
I was only fetching fire
they won’t see me cry, they won’t see me cry

they’re there, they will miss you
there, there, I missed you
I missed you, I missed you