Enough.

*is

Recently, I dreamed I was in heaven searching for my soul mate. When I found her, we couldn’t face each other. I gave her the gift of enlightenment because I had been there so long, that was all I had to give. I told her I didn’t need her anymore. Then she walked away, clearly upset. I never saw her face. I then fell to the ground and sobbed because I lied. I don’t have enlightenment. And I still need her.

My twin bed is feeling too big. And I’m getting hopelessly sentimental in my old age.

Kat: keys, lyrics, vox
Bird: wood thrush (oh, how I miss thee in the desert)

I dreamt about you for the millionth time
carried by the wind, on the edge of sublime
But with eyes open, don’t know what I’ll find
will it be rapture or just not quite
what I need?

On the far side of
nearly

Everything I want
is here with me nightly
This should be enough
the illusion of your body…

It’s so unnerving, living in deep time
building heavens using all our fine lines
But if eternity can expand our rigid minds
how can it be it’s never quite
what I need?

On the far side of
nearly

Everything I want
is here with me nightly
I tell myself it should be enough
the illusion of your body
next to me

What I need
is on the verge of my reality
Will you be what I seek?
Or only,
nearly

Everything I want
is here with me nightly
I tell myself it should be enough
the vision of your body

Nearly…

Everything I want
I pray for it nightly
It can never be enough
when I wake to find nobody
next to me

It’s not enough