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Out of Line
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I’m almost totally happy with this song except it is for the mix. I would appreciate any comments on how to improve it. Is too bassy and the mix has a big blip in the beginning where it gets louder for a second. I know I can fix some of that with Audacity or whatever, but I am curious if you think I should redo the vocals where they are way too buzzy and bassy, like in the first verse.
I wrote this song in April or May of this year. We had these renters that were totally out of line - a couple who slept til 8 pm, hit the bars til closing time, came home and had huge. physical fights that I had to stop sometimes, like at 4 in the morning.
At the time, I was in a relationship that has included many breakups and reunions, each with its own tears. We’re finally done, and calmly proceeding as friends, but when we had the Bickersons living in the house I saw clearly how two people can have a big love for each other, and even connect creatively, like me and and my friend do, and emotionally, but still just not be good partners.
Problem is when you both have the same weaknesses, someone has to be the grown up. If you’re both creative types who would rather be making songs or pictures, who is going to do the dishes and get a job? Not me. It’s your turn.
I did the bass, keys, vocals, and my ex did the guitar, exactly like I wanted him to. For once.
I’m working on a video for this using found footage.
OUT OF LINE
Lyrics
What if you don’t change,
everything stays basically the same
but getting slowly worse over time,
never really trying to change?
Out of line.
WIll we always be
out of line.
What if you’re just wrong,
wrong for me,
and what if I
I’m just wrong for you,
but we can’t see.
That we keep each other
Out of line.
Right out of line.
One of has to say
everything changes today
the other one has to do
what the first one says to do
Out of line
It’s so hard to be good
but that’s what we gotta do.
I don’t know if I can be good
and I don’t know about you.
Out of line.
Hard to be good.
Etc.
Music and lyrics copyright Rachel Mendez 2009.
brando
said
So glad that I randomly stumbled into this room of the alonetone mansion. After the first tune, I was all in. I actually like the distant feel in the mix of this one. Hope to hear more soon.
Guest
said
Whoa...I really truly dig this. Can I be one of your groupies? Stella
glu
said
nice song, love the lyrics. Because you are asking for advice, I recommend bringing out the percussion to compliment that rich bass. I also think a little percussive variation would help the track move more fluidly. Looking forward to the final mix. Cheers!
glu
said
nice track.. love the lyrics! Because you are looking for comments to improve your mix... you could also try the alonetone forum section "track therapy" -- it's a little sleepy but maybe more folks will start posting if more start using it. http://alonetone.com/forums/track-therapy I recommend doing something with the percussion to compliment that nice bass; drums sit too low in the mix- bring them out... and they could use some variation to keep the track moving/building. Nice song idea, I look forward to hearing the final mix. cheers!
misfit wine
said
Hi Tim. Yeah, I've got a backload to upload but I want to clean them up. Decided to post this one even though the mix is off. Figured people like yourself would make some helpful comments....? I'll be checking out your latest later, myself.
