This is like 5 songs in one. (The drums at the beginning aren't the greatest, but give it a chance.)

Who needs a map?

The title comes from a story by Avram Davidson.

I have a tendency to distance myself from other people.

OUT OF THE EATER CAME FORTH MEAT. OUT OF THE ETHER CAME FORTH ME.

Break ups stink, especially when the other person gets petty.

Sticks and stones . . .

I hated my friend's ex-girlfriend. Screw you, Keitha Lynn Barney.

We all wank or we're liars.

I used to think I might be schizo.

My mother is not a nice lady. I haven't spoken to her since the day I turned 18.

He takes his first steps upon the stage.

Funktioniert auch als loop :P

Ukulele cover of the classic Christmas parody, Do You Smell What I Smell. Never had one lesson!

Lyrics: By now the Christmas spirit’s soaring. Give me presents or I’ll throw a fit. The baby Jesus story’s boring. Let’s put the X into it… Let’s put the X into X-Mas. After all, it’s all about the gifts. I want a gold plated Lexus…

Lyrics: If only you’d come home for Christmas I wouldn’t have to be alone this Christmas With someone to call my own At Christmas time this year. You know it seems like every Christmas season That you are either gone or you are leaving…

Lyrics: Eat your Thanksgiving turkey then Black Friday comes, Let the corporate oppressors rejoice. Time to ring up astronomical sums… Trim up your tree, deck out your halls… Bring all of your credit cards down to the malls… You need…

Lyrics: Thank you for the Christmas present. I appreciate the gift. And I’ll be sure to thank you more Once I find out what it is. The wrapping paper’s laminated In about three rolls of tape. I understand it’s in your plan To see these…

Lyrics: Christmas time is coming, You can tell by the snow. But before you go shopping I just want you to know. This might sound funny But I’m being sincere. Please just give me money So I can get what I want this year. I’ve got…

With Cath and Dai Woolridge and Sammy Davies