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When My Vital Signs Disappear
Sorslin
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Tell me when you will come here
When you will come to see me
And also if you will touch me
Turn off the lights and don’t make noises
Only if it’s your breathing
Softly and warmly
In my ears
Now I’m ready
To feel you inside
And your body touching mine
And our eyes rolling at the same time
All this would be less complicated
If that medicine my body was still invading
But I had to stop taken
Because it doesen’t worth it
Now that I’ve been inside you
And you’ve been inside me in a way too
I need to tell you the truth
I am scared of what I will live through
These meetings of ours at my house
Sometimes I don’t know how
How I’m going to experience this with other people
With my mental condition
The worst is when I think about how my life will be
In the future when my parents are no longer here
How am I going to live?
If that today even the sunlight I don’t see?
Who is gonna take care of me?
Did you see a future for me?
I can only see my soul getting free
When my vital signs disappear
This song has two parts but they are somehow connected. In the first part, I talk about my difficulty in interacting with other people, after stopping taking antipsychotics. This first part talks about a sexual relationship I had that was very good, although I had difficulty talking or even being touched, as I knew the person and I ''gave permission'' for that to happen, and I was waiting for that, it was very good and I didn't have any difficulties. The second part talks about my vision for my life in the future, since I, with so many special needs due to being neurodivergent, how will I manage on my own when I no longer have my parents, who now take care of me? Either a miracle happens and I become a completely independent person, or I put and end to everything.