Standing, waiting, shivering, waiting, hoping, waiting, crying - all the while being cruelly mocked by the passage of time, and my analogue watch. It was not a very nice night. Peter Fedofsky plays the piano on this song. If you could…

A nasty little story wrapped in a very short country song. When I took your tiny hand it struck me cold And I though cool hands warm hands warm heart is what I've been But I know that wasn't When It came to one like you So I signed that…

Written for the "My First Sing-A-Long Dictionary" RPM 2010 project. See myfirstdictionary.blogspot.com/ Daddy's away Posted abroad Sending home pay All he can afford Mummy pretends But I notice that something has changed The letters…

Part 3 - Appeal and Backstory (reprise) Appeal. In which Johnny puts his side of the story. Backstory (reprise) In which Julia re-appears and more evidence is revealed. Yours is The body in the bath That keeps me overflowing…

Part 2 - Courtroom and Sentencing. Courtroom. In which Angela cross examines the accused and his accomplice. Sentencing. In which Judgement is passed. Call the first witness Make you take the stand Raise up your right hand…

Part 1 - Hotel & Backstory. Hotel. In which Johnny tries to betray Angela, whose suspicions are raised when Jenny calls. Backstory. In which we learn about Julia's involvement in the affair. Lyric - So Jennifer sits…

En Francais. English lyric: I don't know why there is not another girl for me here Or near here, But over there are plenty of girls for him What a shame - what a shame Every day I watch the men and boys with girls on the beach…

A song for/about Charles Manson. If you think you've found an answer Inside a 45 You need another needle and indeed you needed Beatles to realise Speaking on the record Backwards just to you First the curses then perverted verses…

A song about the five stages of grieving, as devised by the (late) Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Unfortunately knowing these stages does not help you get over them. You've been managing expectations Consultations end in tears Even if you're optimistic…

12 – Goodbye From The Okay Chorale. Written and recorded 22nd Feb. ‘Til next time. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

11 – Eventually (Pop Song). Written and recorded 1st Feb. A joyous celebration of the lie ‘Ladies First’. Honestly - this is pure filth, start to finish. Cover your ears. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

10 – Strictly Rehearsed. Written 13th Feb. Recorded 13th/14th Feb. More upbeat shenanigans, this time attacking someone’s who’s off the cuff remarks are pre-prepared (and written as crib notes on their cuffs). Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite…

09 – Carry On Crying. Written and recorded on 12th/17th Feb. A 5/4 romp starring Sid James and Hattie Jacques. Godley and Creme will direct the video. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

08 – Feeling Confuzzzed. Written 19th/20th Feb. Recorded 20th Feb. Come on Wembley, let’s see those hands in the air. As poppy as they come, including plenty of la la las to sing along with. I was very pleased with my Harrison-style slide…

07 – What’s ‘Round Here? (A Mystery). Written and recorded 22nd Feb. A mystery. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

06 – Lullaby. Written and recorded 14th Feb. A song for the sleeping. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

05 – Officer’s Mess (March). Written and recorded 2nd Feb. This is as close to beat-boxing as I am able to do. I can only apologise for the smutty pun. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

04 – Machiavellian Ways. Written 5th Feb. Recorded 5th/9th Feb. Mark Morriss has written some really witty triple rhymes in a slightly country fashion, and I wanted to try it too. Although I am not sure if I succeeded, I had fun - and got…

03 – Meteorites. Written 2nd/3rd Feb. Recorded 3rd Feb. Inspired by the film ‘Stardust’ where our hero meets a (literal) fallen star. The painful low vocals were particularly fun, and their emotional cracking was acting rather than the fact…

02 – Falling Down Again. Written 17th/18th Feb.  Recorded 17th/18th/19th Feb. A slightly schizophrenic pop song, with a vocal section that also betrays me wanting to be a Beach Boy. Worryingly there is actually a red sticky trickle that seeps…