The Deep End (Losing It)

Coming out of my torpor to regale you with, what Tom calls, a ‘wall of words.’ Guess I’ve been backed up…Had a lot of fun playing with the delay, echoes and reverbs with this one. Thanks to my dad for the new mic! Makes everything super intimate. blush <3Kat

There’s a coziness in going off the deep end
a comfort in being sick
they’ll suspend their expectations
when they see you losing it

You have a power but I guess it has to depend
did someone hold your hand?
did they chase away your shadows?
when you couldn’t understand?
Or did the fear leave you breathless
Left to your own devices?

There’s a freedom in going off the rails
a safety behind these closed doors
It’s sane to surrender to this madness
But only if the choice is yours
so just unplug the phone
Tell yourself it’s another bad day

I’m sorry if I couldn’t bear this flood
my feet sticking in the mud
it’s taken all I have just to keep my head above

I can see how this belief has shaped you
that you’re somehow on your own
now the water’s in your head
and you tumble like a stone
pushing you off the ledges
sanding off all your edges

Doesn’t it feel good to break down?
this feral heart knows what it needs
when your whole world has been upended
and you’ve been swept out to sea
the current that takes you away
Is always there to carry you home

.I’m sorry but I couldn’t bear your flood
it’s taken almost everything I’ve got
to hold myself up to all the things you want for me

If we could only let ourselves give in
Finding strength in this common sin
Would we find ourselves together or alone?

I know that no amount of reason
can reach you in the dark
Sometimes you have to jump into the deep end
let yourself just fall apart
Go ahead, close your eyes, take a breath
and just dive in

Just dive in