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by Mike Denison (Lumberfork)

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Helplessly (with Randy Speaks)

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My late friend Randy (the subject of “Memories of Old Magazines”) loved this particular song and created the instrumental tracks. It was sadly our only collaboration. This was recorded 20 years ago, when he was a younger soul than I am now. There is a guitar version, but this will always remain a memory of Randy for me.

Helplessly

But then sometimes in the colorless light of a hazy windy moonlit night, the feeling haunts you like you’ve known that you would always be alone.

But then sometimes in the sparkling sun, you think of things you could have done while loneliness chills you to the bone. Sometimes it feels like you’re made of stone.

And your spirit fades as the silence squalls and swirls inside your secret walls as you hide from your heart in the fluttering emotions of your secret affections and unspoken devotions.

And the pain spins alive while you silently stare into the solitude you crave, an ache too potent to bear, while you scream and you cry without shedding a tear. While I helplessly love you, helplessly wait here.

But then sometimes in the heart of a storm, in the shape of a mask you have always worn, you peek past the lies that you hopelessly cling to and dream that these eyes would hold and protect you.

But then sometimes I hopelessly wonder if you’ll ever let me back into that cloak you live under.

Free your guilt, smile and feel that these eyes would love you and always will.

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