Imagine, if you will, yourself sitting in a Chinese tea house. Cherry blossoms are falling outside and nearby, there is a small stream. You are totally at peace when the tea ceremony commences.

Noodle: verb. To play an aimless and improvised guitar solo. Jam: verb. To play improvised music as a group.

This one sat around for quite a while collecting dust until I picked it up a couple days ago and started tinkering with it. I think I like it.

My first "crying in your beer" suicide inducer track.

Annoyingly happy.

Jimmy's dad stands beside his son who is overjoyed to be seated on a wooden horse attached to a rotating platform. Old people really seem to like this "diddy".

A long line of Harleys parked in front, a jukebox full of country music and not a sober customer in the place.

DISCLAIMER: I have never been to Texas, nor have I done any of the things mentioned in this song. I do not suggest that anyone do these things.

My albino rat was named tttee and she was cool. Then my friend gave me rats. O.k., now I've got 3 rats. Then they procreated. Having 23 rats was not so cool.

When employed at Wal-Mart, CSM is the acronym for Cock Sucking Motherfucker.

An attack made on the pearly gates. Special guest drummer Ron Lockwood.

A song about what it's like for me to live in your world.

Deep in the Louisiana bayou, a voodoo priestess swats at small flying shapes. Their normally bright rainbow colors deadened into shades of grey.

These massive, scaly beasts try their best to tread lightly: a nearly impossible task.

Flying jaggedly through the air, Abigail barely clings to her broom. the black cat behind her has dug his claws deep into the business end of her broom. Dark and kvlt she may be, but this witch has had a few too many cocktails.

In the dank darkness, you can just barely make out the shapes of spiders. They can't be spiders, though: They're too big!

About 30 small faces are upturned to a screen where a film is playing. On the screen, children exit a bus just as they had done a short time before.

Earl sagged in the saddle. As his faithful horse plodded along, he left a trail of blood behind, darkening the parched desert sand. The empty revolvers in Earl's holsters had dispatched a band of cattle thieves. As the last bit of life drained…

Most young people will know what this means. If you don't, you're already online so look it up.

Another quick record for my mother, although I did spend a bit more time on this one.