Another quick record for my mother, although I did spend a bit more time on this one.

Most young people will know what this means. If you don't, you're already online so look it up.

Earl sagged in the saddle. As his faithful horse plodded along, he left a trail of blood behind, darkening the parched desert sand. The empty revolvers in Earl's holsters had dispatched a band of cattle thieves. As the last bit of life drained…

About 30 small faces are upturned to a screen where a film is playing. On the screen, children exit a bus just as they had done a short time before.

In the dank darkness, you can just barely make out the shapes of spiders. They can't be spiders, though: They're too big!

Flying jaggedly through the air, Abigail barely clings to her broom. the black cat behind her has dug his claws deep into the business end of her broom. Dark and kvlt she may be, but this witch has had a few too many cocktails.

These massive, scaly beasts try their best to tread lightly: a nearly impossible task.

Deep in the Louisiana bayou, a voodoo priestess swats at small flying shapes. Their normally bright rainbow colors deadened into shades of grey.

A song about what it's like for me to live in your world.

When employed at Wal-Mart, CSM is the acronym for Cock Sucking Motherfucker.

My albino rat was named tttee and she was cool. Then my friend gave me rats. O.k., now I've got 3 rats. Then they procreated. Having 23 rats was not so cool.

DISCLAIMER: I have never been to Texas, nor have I done any of the things mentioned in this song. I do not suggest that anyone do these things.

A long line of Harleys parked in front, a jukebox full of country music and not a sober customer in the place.

Jimmy's dad stands beside his son who is overjoyed to be seated on a wooden horse attached to a rotating platform. Old people really seem to like this "diddy".

Annoyingly happy.

My first "crying in your beer" suicide inducer track.

Noodle: verb. To play an aimless and improvised guitar solo. Jam: verb. To play improvised music as a group.

Imagine, if you will, yourself sitting in a Chinese tea house. Cherry blossoms are falling outside and nearby, there is a small stream. You are totally at peace when the tea ceremony commences.

A friend once took me to a Hindu temple. We sat on the floor for a while as the religious leader chanted and burned incense. This was followed by an uncomfortable tour of the place. Our tour guide then said "You should go get some food.". It was…

I really don't know what to say. This is what comes out when I sit in front of my computer.