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Grapefruit Song (Sometimes)


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This original melody idea was jotted down in October 2003 in Harmony Assistant, and I had written it thinking that someday I’d make it a real song with lyrics. While playing the tune on the computer, my daughter came in and said she liked it a lot. Then a very bad thing happened. I suddenly remembered that this software had “Virtual Singers” in it, and I could have the computer-synthesized voices sing the song, all I needed were some lyrics. So I told my daughter to wait just a moment, I would show her something funny, and I began typing in lyrics under the notes. Of course, they would just be placeholder words, not a real song, but it would show her what the computerized singer sounded like. For some twisted reason, the meter of the notes guided me to the first phrase “I want a grapefruit, really, badly”. I quickly typed some more silly phrases that related to gardens and humorously shaped vegetables and saved it. Unfortunately, when I played this song, it triggered strange fits of laughter in her, which, 3 years later, she has still not recovered from. When I recently dusted this song off and made it the more serious piece “Sometimes” and asked her to listen to this new version, she was unable to hear it without giggling… the song had been permanently tainted in her brain, and will now always be the “Grapefruit Song”.

So I offer you this warning. You may stop now, and just listen to the original/serious “Sometimes” song, or you can listen to this older silly/demented version, and become infected too. Choose wisely, you cannot go back.

I have extracted the synthesized voices from Harmony Assistant and placed them in the better-sounding Garageband file of “Sometimes”. I took Mike “KevMikWa” Watkins’ great drums out of this version and instead used my simpler original drum track, since the drums aren’t the focal point of this piece, the voices need to stand out.

I want a grapefruit really badly
reallly bad
and a tater
I need grapefruit really badly
reallly bad
and a funny carrot

oh citrus
green stuff
fruits and

I want grapefruit in my tummy
want it now
need some grape-fruit
oh my grapefruit in my tummy
want it now
need some right now (yes please)


I need grapefruit in my mouth oh daddy
oo-oo-oo-ooh ah mommy
got-ta have my grapefruit
and a sour lemon lemon
give me grapefruit in my mouth oh daddy
oo-oo-oo-ooh ah mommy
gotta have my grapefruit
and a sour lemon lemon lemon lemon mm..


la la la la grapefruit
dum dee doo doo doo doo tummy
right now…
ooh doo be doo be doo be doo doo dah
ooh yes

Hardware: Macintosh dual 1Ghz G4, Hot Summer daze, cool Summer grapefruit, and a funny carrot.

Software: Harmony Assistant composition software with Virtual Singer, Garageband 2, conversion to MP3 by “LAME” MP3 encoder.

Neva Sae Dye's avatar
Neva Sae Dye said

great song!!

Gareth Grant's avatar
Gareth Grant said

Love the use of the voice. I use a text to speech engine and then edit within melodyne - gives realistic results.

Lalo Oceja's avatar
Lalo Oceja said

hey drakonis! about your comment on the big snake (lol) yeah I put 2 different tempos mixed up... it was fun. synthezised voices here made the song sound very bounding, beautiful!

K. SCOT SPARKS   79+intercessions's avatar
K. SCOT SPARKS 79+intercessions said

Thanks for this fascinating tune and for your production comments on my trumpet ensemble piece. I must admit that that was a document of the writing more so than of decent performance or engineering. Thanks again for the good observations.

Guest said

Compelling in a breakfast fruit kind of way!

Guest said

good done Eduard!

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