A song about the old-time Avalon Hill wargame:


I was born to lead a Blitzkrieg
Cardboard armies everywhere
The land is covered with a grid of hexagons
That will henceforth be called squares

It’s not called a simulation
Because the war was never true
There’s just two fictitious nations
His Big Red vs. my Great Blue

I make a feint around Lake Pinsky
The Zocchi River line is done
My armor crosses the Great Koufax Desert
With double movement for each one

There is a clash at OO-40
I manage odds of 3 to 1
Because I don’t have him surrounded
I hope to roll a 6 or 1

He hits me with a beach invasion
Between the Dott and Michael Bulge
It’s not enough to really take my capital
his real plans he won’t divulge

Although they call it Lightning Warfare
It takes all day to play it through
And although I’ve played it many times by now
I’ll have another war with you

I was born to lead a Blitzkrieg
Just as long as it’s not real

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