Saco River Pirates

Keith Landry

An afternoon on the Saco with Karen always leads to delusions of grandeur. Now where did I leave that eye patch?

SACO RIVER PIRATES

Another Maine sunrise on the not so high seas
Hand me my eyepatch, I’ll help you tie the peg leg to your knee
We’ve paddled down this river every summer of our lives
Armed with an oar, a guitar, and maybe some old pocket knife
Steer clear when you see us coming
We’ve already capsized twice

Don’t hide the women and the children, we just want the food
It’s been a long day out on the water, and my crew is in the mood
For whatever is in that cooler you’ve got tethered to your boat
Just toss a can in our direction - beer and soda float
I could really use a cider
The first mate wants a Coke

When we hoist the Jolly Roger
Tube riders tremble in fear
If you’re towing precious cargo
You’d better send it over here
I am the fearless captain
And my sister is the crew
And when we hoist the Jolly Roger
We’re coming over to ask you
If you wouldn’t mind helping us out
We forgot to pack drinks for ourselves
A root beer would be nice
Or Canada Dry that’s been sitting on ice

It isn’t hard to see us coming at one point seven miles an hour
Karen holds us to our heading and I provide the power
I’m sure we’re looking desperate, you never know what we might do
You’ve never heard of Saco River Pirates? Well, we’re kinda new
We really need to start recruiting
Right now it’s just us two

But when we hoist the Jolly Roger
Tube riders tremble in fear
If you’re towing precious cargo
You’d better send it over here
I am the fearless captain
And my sister is the crew
And when we hoist the Jolly Roger
We’d really like a snack or two
Maybe some Smartfood with this Coke
We flipped the boat and our lunch got soaked
You never know if you’ll see us again
But you can bet that when we

Hoist the Jolly Roger
Tube riders tremble in fear
If you’re towing precious cargo
You’d better send it over here
I am the fearless captain
And my sister is the crew
And when we hoist the Jolly Roger
We’re the tamest pirates you ever knew
Yeah, we’re the lamest pirates you ever knew