better than we are

track 4 from the album “Une Histoire de DMs avec Bleu” — more info: https://saltbearer.dreamwidth.org/2992.html + https://soingmachine.bandcamp.com/album/une-histoire-de-dms-avec-bleu

I would consider this to be my best work in years, easily.

memories of putting this much effort into a song, just focusing on working on One Thing for days on end until I found myself Satisfied with it and not just At A Deadline, and even doing a little bit of actual polishing as a separate phase, were things of my non-recent past.

and it’s a proper Song. I wrote lyrics and built a song around them because I wanted to Sing Out a message, however saccharine its optimism seemed to the engravings of cynicism left on my soul, AFAICR for the First Time For Real — not just including lyrics For Fun or for textural reasons.

primarily, that message is a very meta and earnest expression of a belief that others in ~comparable creative Pits — my friend, in particular — can, somehow, break out of them, and manage analogous achievements.

I wrote my interpretation of my lyrics directly into the project file, as such:

We lament that we wish to bring beautiful things into the world, but something or other keeps stopping us.

Those around you have their struggles. Hard times are regularly pulled through. You’re not so different, ultimately - someone else might see you as a lot more resilient than you believe yourself to be.

We may unnecessarily withdraw in response to opportunities. We have to catch ourselves in the act of letting them slip away.

I really do not believe you’re going to struggle endlessly, and you may even look back on the difficulties of the present as a source of inspiration.

Take stock of everything you want in life. Surround yourself with what and who you love. Take easy wins. Identify who’s willing and able to help or commiserate, so you never struggle alone.

~

at heart
we’re better than we are
we say “if only” we could live from there
and always conjure beauty from the air

but look
notice all the miracles
the wholehearted assurances
that you are not a cosmic punchline
… either

unprecedented openings abound
such ironic closures counter
that must be fought
that must not be
… settled for

in time, I believe
with such certainty
we’ll normalize and harness our weights

and live in the directions of wishes that we’ve consciously aligned for by asking what’s better than we are

~

[thanks to Signi for offerin’ a li’l tip — I clearly have a lot to learn when it comes to mixing vocals, but I’m glad to be stepping further down the path]