It's All Relative (RPM)

Mother your an a hole
I know cos father said so
when you left for bingo
he said you was a pain in the ass

Father you’re a dick head
I know cos uncle mick said
when mum and him were in bed
they said you was a total douche

ah but its all relative
to him you’re a cow and
to her you’re a tool
ah but if you ask my opinion
I don’t much care for either of you.

the Tories all are phonies
the man from labour told me
they’re only out to control me
and keep the very richest rich

there’s none worse than labour
according to my Tory neighbour
the leader couldn’t be stranger
and everything they say is shit.

ah but its all relative
both say the others not telling the truth
ah but if you ask my opinion
I don’t trust either fucking one of the two. one of the two….

Jehovahs on my doorstep
asked me if id thought about god yet
I said surely to god yeah
I just made her a cuppa tea

all kinds of believers
believe the other kinds are heathens
I guess they got their reasons
but issaall hooey to me.

ah see its all relative
you all think you’re right
and you’re all so sure
ah but if you ask my opinion
if there was a god then she’d be all of yours
and maybe even mine.