Golrammit

My Pepere was born before the great war
To God-fearing parents in Maine
Where the simplest of rules taught in Catholic schools
Was don’t use the Lord’s name in vain
Every day in that school, he’d adhere to that rule
But a loophole he often used well
Is that the turn of a phrase in original ways
Can prevent you from going to hell

So Golrammit it once, and Golrammit it twice
And Golrammit five times or ten
It ain’t a swear, so the good Lord don’t care
If we all say Golrammit again

Now back in the day, every word that he’d say
Was like Gospel to my childhood ears
And he’d drive me around on his errands through town
Right through my teenage years
Well, on one of those rides, we pulled off to the side
As his engine exploded in smoke
I thought then and there, he’d let loose a swear
But some rules should never get broke

So Golrammit it once, and Golrammit it twice
And Golrammit five times or ten
It ain’t a swear, so the good Lord don’t care
If we all say Golrammit again

On the day Pepere died, Golrest his soul
Saint Peter determined his fate
He said, “It says by your name, you never used His in vain”
And they let him through the Golram gates

So Golrammit it once, and Golrammit it twice
And Golrammit five times or ten
It ain’t a swear, so the good Lord don’t care
If we all say Golrammit again