Ode To Shady

(samples music produced by Dr. Dre (and sampled from Labi Siffre’s “I Got The…”) for “My Name Is” by Eminem)

[Verse 1]
I’m a state away from my family tree
Fuck Alex D
I’m gonna change my name to Randy V
Fuck having children
I’m gonna stick a baby inside of my abdominal cavity
There’s too many around, I gotta lay some out
Repeat V. Tech, so what ya gonna say now?
And then I just destroy all the companies that telecast this shit on TVs
They don’t want emcees to be broadcast
Broads cast looks and don’t do shit about getting hooked up
I must have a screw loose in my brain
But I don’t do shit to fix it in the game
There’s too many dudes that’s loose in the lips, saying whatever they want and maybe push me, refrain
You don’t want that to happen, the beef comes out
To put on your tables, just don’t eat it now

[Verse 2]
Yes, I’m glad I’m dark, it separates me from you
Turn the lights off, green turns to blue
And yellow turns to red
Kinda like your head when it’s cut
So what the fuck ya gonna have said?
Too many people grabbing up them damn pencils
When they’re not sharp enough to be splitting and denting in you
There must be an indent or two in your paragraph
‘cause I don’t see one, I see a pair of ass
Against me in this microphone battle
You couldn’t have a telecast if you telephoned your asshole
For a clip, to be saying shit at me
But I already won ten seconds before the rap started ya see
There was a lot of game
But I took all of it on my plate and ate
There must’ve been an eight, a figure on my dick and ya don’t know shit
So how ‘bout this?

[Verse 3]
I’m gonna release all my complaining and whining
Bitching, moaning, pissing and owning the microphone and
You guys don’t know this rap
If you had a lot of Saran and foil around your food, you already spoiled it
This stool I shit inside your food
Make you eat it, watch you and cam-cord it too
Put it up on YouTube for everyone to see
Your parents, your grandparents, even your future seed
This is crazy, my mind’s melting
Sorta like Indiana when he did those guys in then
There’s too many shits to do with papers
So I’m seeing ya later, rap is what I’m saying
That’s just a goddamn hobby when not golfing
That’s just isolation and just non-involvement
I love it when I’m just casting aspersions and acting like ass and just spitting trash at these dudes to

[Closing Remarks]
Stop it, I see you for the last time
Damn, staying away from him is a savior to him
It’s safer then
Pull my goddamn laundry out of the bin
Tomorrow we back at it again
Shit, I was drunk, I was dead drunk, puking
I didn’t know what happened when I blacked out
Shit, I gotta go on and act out the next day
So just keep on working and be yourself
Screw yourself, just go to school, ok?
Walk around like ya don’t give a fuck
Like ya don’t give a fuck about anyone else but your family
And yourself, protect yourself
Alright?
Get your money
Get this shit done

(song also known as “Beat By Dre”)