09 – Carry On Crying. Written and recorded on 12th/17th Feb. A 5/4 romp starring Sid James and Hattie Jacques. Godley and Creme will direct the video. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

08 – Feeling Confuzzzed. Written 19th/20th Feb. Recorded 20th Feb. Come on Wembley, let’s see those hands in the air. As poppy as they come, including plenty of la la las to sing along with. I was very pleased with my Harrison-style slide…

07 – What’s ‘Round Here? (A Mystery). Written and recorded 22nd Feb. A mystery. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

06 – Lullaby. Written and recorded 14th Feb. A song for the sleeping. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

05 – Officer’s Mess (March). Written and recorded 2nd Feb. This is as close to beat-boxing as I am able to do. I can only apologise for the smutty pun. Info and lyrics at www.butterflypolite.com/uglifruit

04 – Machiavellian Ways. Written 5th Feb. Recorded 5th/9th Feb. Mark Morriss has written some really witty triple rhymes in a slightly country fashion, and I wanted to try it too. Although I am not sure if I succeeded, I had fun - and got…

03 – Meteorites. Written 2nd/3rd Feb. Recorded 3rd Feb. Inspired by the film ‘Stardust’ where our hero meets a (literal) fallen star. The painful low vocals were particularly fun, and their emotional cracking was acting rather than the fact…

02 – Falling Down Again. Written 17th/18th Feb.  Recorded 17th/18th/19th Feb. A slightly schizophrenic pop song, with a vocal section that also betrays me wanting to be a Beach Boy. Worryingly there is actually a red sticky trickle that seeps…

01 – My Prayer. Written and recorded 16th Feb. Paying homage to ‘Our Prayer’, the opening of SMiLE – the Beach Boy’s album that never was. An extended version of this song appears on ‘28 seconds later’, an album on which each song is exactly…

[Thanks to Helen and Colin for coming to my aid with the warblings! :) ] When You Least Expect It And you're out to dry And its all too hectic Thats when it comes x 2 And it feels electric And you feel alive Cos when you least expect…

You never let me smile You never let me out of sight You never let me live You never learned you had to give I'm taking it away x 2

I heard a story about you I didnt want it to be true But it felt like it might You, well it was all about you and how the things that you do Seem strangely undone And life doesnt help out the weak A lifetime tends to bring you some…

Let me introduce to you Every woman child and man The place I did my growing up Raised by grandma's hand I think you'll find That folks are kind They're sure to ask you in Enter the warmth Close the door And my story will begin…

Can i get a little whisky in this water said John The day the world stopped being fair I didnt know what to say so I said yeah. I poured a double whisky and I placed it in his hand And said friend, only true friends understand He said friend…

I was a babe You was a man and i was a child. Oh and the pain You was a man and I was a child. You shifted the blame Onto the child I never forgave And if you were here you'd see a man gone wild. Through the eyes of a child. x3…

Tell me can you teach me bout your finely written poetry Dont care about the content I just want to make em notice me Such a fine hand they'd say wooo, study it closely Been practicing all day I think I'm ready least I aughta be. Caligraphy…

Well I been playing the blues for so long Kinda feel like playing jazz x 2 I dig the random instrumentation. Play this in eight over three and a half I been playing the blues for so long, make me feel like tryna rap x 2 I think I'll call…

Musta been December cause the air mighty cold A family was moving in, further down the road They were not the colour of the others in the street All the kids were laughing at the trainers on their feet I was only young and so I guess I laughed…

It aint like no ones done this before But how can you tire of beautiful chords In the fifties In Tenessee Where my love was born Two young men upped and crossed the yard both cold cos it was rainin hard. One of them turned said…

other stuff i never finished