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Should Have Been Mine (2020 Version)

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This song scares me. This song stresses me out. This song confuses me. I could write a song about how messed up this song makes me feel.

Is it the best song I’ve ever written? Not even close. Why then do I insist to myself that it’s the best song I’ve ever written? Why do I need this song to be a ton better than it is?

I think it was 2005… I was in a band, I think, but not the band I’m in now. I woke up from a good night’s sleep with this song almost entirely complete in my head. The lyrics in the verses weren’t there, but everything else was. Melody, riffs, bass lines, lyrics for the chorus (what little there are) were all there, fully formed. It’s not the only time that’s happened to me, but it was by far the best of the bunch.

But was it good? Also, why do I NEED it to be good? I didn’t do anything with it until 2007 when I first heard of the RPM Challenge. I was too late to join in for the month of February so I tried it a month later. This was the first thing I worked on. I didn’t finish writing it until 2011, and then I didn’t make a decent recording of it until 2012. In 2015, when I came up with the wacky idea to re-record some of my less awful music, it was the first song I worked on.

But is it worthy of all this effort? I just can’t tell! Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know!

Anyway, I now have three versions of this song on this alonetone account. Hopefully this is better than the other two. I think it is, but is it? it’s faster… so it’s got that going for it.

The guitars are all Gibson ES-335. The amps are a Fender Bassbreaker 15 for everything. The leads also have a Vox AC15 as well. Two amps, for the win.

when was the last time
I came out in front
guilty of some crime
I just don’t know what
I’m almost there now
almost just right
just one thing eludes me
one last thing to fight

It should have been mine

some sort of deception
some stone unturned
a misplaced confession
that left me burned
but its getting closer
this thing that I need
just beyond my reach now
I beg and I plead

when was the last time
I came out in front
guilty of some crime
I just don’t know what

Sister Savage's avatar
Sister Savage said

Awesome road trip soundtrack. Leave it all behind, take only great music with you.

Andrew Russe's avatar
Andrew Russe said

But this one of yours, it's a GOODIE

Andrew Russe's avatar
Andrew Russe said

I struggle with the same sort of thing over songs... it's why I tend to take so long with some - I can't tell whether a song of mine's any good, never can. But often I have a suspicion it might be "WOW" and so I want to give it the best chance of receiving a WOW or two... and so I worry and stress about it until I can't do any better, then I say it's done and post it (or file it, or sometimes bin it). I'm always proud of them, every single one of them, but I never know whether any of them are any good until other people say so. Somehow, when I was young, I set myself up with "if it's popular, it's good pop music", and I'm kinda stuck with that now... too late to change!!

Andrew Russe's avatar
Andrew Russe said

Oh yeah... this is a goodie.

Colleen Dillon's avatar
Colleen Dillon said

This sounds great!!!