Blank Episode Three Rpm 2016
BLANK Episode 3
17.(I BEGAN TO FALL) Thetworegs
This voice carried on lecturing me “You really have no idea do you” ‘The shit that you have put people close to you through’ “ all this crap you about i can stop if i want to, i’ve just got to want to, i’m not a alcoholic” look Reg it’s time to be blunt with you, not that i haven’t been in the past , Drink is controlling you, your blood runs through your body full with alcohol most of the time.” Don’t you realize that when you don’t drink you are wonderful, a beautiful human being, helpful, kind, understanding, loving but as soon as you hit that bottle all that has gone, all we are left with is the arsehole. It’s time you took stock and stopped. The fun times are over, all your doing to yourself now is killing yourself and any love people close to you, feel for you. It’s time to call it a day Reg ….STOP! NOW!
18.(LIFE IS A WAVE) Thetworegs
Right,There was a piercing hum right, that was cutting through the silence of the room, coming into the room from the outside. It was getting closer, faster and faster it was coming,it was really coming the hum, it was becoming fucking ear splitting it was turned into a zing kinda sound and then light filled up the whole fucking room. Can you believe it, that ear piercing hum had been the sound of the dawn coming.I must have ears like a fucking dog, i can hear anyt… I can hear the fucking dawn coming. Anyway, I hadn’t slept a funking wink, I had lain on top of the covers thinking all night, talking to that fucking voice. It had been speaking a lot of sense to me. It was making a lot of sense and showing me the error of me ways, and i mean there was a few fucking errors, i can admit that, I can hold me hands up. Well, It had made me realize that I was a bit lost and need help. Well, i mean theres not many of us in the fucking world that don’t need help is there.It also told me, to my surprise, that my old mucker Reg was not what he seemed, that he was actually me, do you get that, he was me,trying to befriend me. Now It was a bit of a puzzle but i think, i think i’ve got it, or what the fucking voice mean’t. My mind has bought the other Reg to life to save me from me self. Either thats fucking bollocks, or, i’m off my fucking head. It’s one or other ain’t it. I mean, It’s taking some fucking understanding, i can tell you.I mean i can’t believe that Reg, my best friend is actually a figment of my imagination a fucking hallucination caused from the drink. well at least theres a good side he won’t leave me, will he? like all the others. ha ha no he won’t will he! But surely, It couldn’t be fucking true, it couldn’t could it, fucking load of old waffle. must have been pissed last night more than normal, talking to me fucking self. Well. mind you he has stayed around me while everything else is fucking crumbled Reg had stayed with me..Mmmm. True he had lead me on a few times, got me into trouble, but he had got me out of more situations that he he’s put me in, no it’s got to be bollocks it can’t be true. Reg is real, surely. Fuck’s sake, why am i even questioning me self. But that voice was telling me a lot different, he was telling me it all different and the more it went on the more convincing it was. I mean i was pissed last night. I don’t know whether to believe it or not, if i do believe it it means i’m a fucking nut job with an invisible friend Ha! Ha! Ha!
i’m a fucking nut job with an invisible friend, i fucking am ain’t I Ha! Ha !
Finally sleep took me, and i slept a fitful sleep throughout the whole day. Dream took away the harsh reality of all this thinking and life. My life was a kinda journey and i was trying to find my way through the shit part of it now , somehow I was gonna get through it, but for now, I was gonna sleep, i wanted to sleep for months, till it all got better, till everything was sorted. But life ain’t so nice as that is it, sometimes you gotta stay awake through your nightmare but for now i was going to me sleep disappear if i could. But it weren’t that simple,tossed and turned for hours,what the voice had been telling me, what Reg had been telling me, well I suppose what i’d been telling me self. It was all true, I was Lost. I got to sleep, thats what i thought to me self, I thought i gotta go to sleep , I gotta get it all clear in me head. It’ll all come out in the wash anyway won’t it, come on pull yourself Reg. You can do it, come on, it’s only another battle, you’ve been through worse ain’t ya.
20.(THE JOURNEY TO NEVER-LAND) Thetworegs
When I woke, I didn’t know where i was, i didn’t recognize the room or anything about it. The contents of the mini bar lay strewn around the room, empty of course. But there was one hair of the dog left over there just under that table, a nice little bottle Brandy that took away the shakes for a while , while I tried getting me self together Darkness was pushing against the window, trying to get in. I didn’t want none of it It was making me think that the day that had just been, you know, like it had never really happened and that now life had become one kind of an alcoholic dream, kinda of a like a nightmare, with good bits. I didn’t really know what the fuck was going on. I just wanted to sleep, oh God, why does life just go on sometimes
My life had become a series of strange events, woven as it was together with alcohol. The only reason i was there in Geneva was to see a Dr, who assured me he could cure me of the drink. I’d called him and booked my place on the course a week or so earlier. It was just after she’d left me, for the last time taking almost everything out the house along with the kids. I’d been on a four week bender, i didn’t know where i’d been or what i’d been up to. If it weren’t for Reg i’d have been beaten to death by and angry mob down the local pub. I’d only gone on stage when the band was playing and snatched the mic of the singer, and proceeded to tell them all, they were cunts and as you can guess it didn’t go down so well. I needed direction, i needed to find a way out of the mess my life had become. I barely worked if it wasn’t for the money i was left when me old man had died, i’d be skint. I was a fucking mess. I had the news on, she’d left me the old Black & White portable, a bloke came on some Dr. in Geneva sprouting about LSD and the benefits foir alcoholics and all that stuff and the 100% success rate he was enjoying, well that got me fucking mind thinking, and at the end of the bulletin there was a number, so rang it,and ended up in Geneva. You know, you know that part of the story already, well that was kinda the beginning, it all started then.
22.(EVERYBODY GOING RIGHT) Thetworegs
Well, I finally got me self together after Reg woke m up,throwing a cold water over me fucking head, which i was none too pleased with as you can imagine. Mind you,It’s wonders what a hot shower a shit and a shave will do for you. I was starving i hadn’t eaten for two days the only thing to pass my lips was liquid and vomit. I’d got a day or so before i had to go and see the Doc, so i thought i’d go and see the sites with Reg. I kept looking him, he looked so real i could touch him, which of course when i did he wanted to know what the fuck I was up to. Any way we finally left the Hotel room and ventured outside it was lovely sunny morning i think it was about Ten or something like that. We went down for a walk by the River Gauche on the South Bank the scenery was breath taking, it was the oldest part of the City, we climbed the hill into the old town and stopped at a cafe for breakfast. I started to order a couple of full breakfasts and a couple pints when i remembered Reg was in me head no one else could see him so i just ordered a beer and a continental breakfast and watched the world pass by. Reg kept trying to get my attention but i wasn’t gonna play ball, i didn’t want to look like a nutter, well, not sober anyway. Finally he got it and shut up and i enjoyed me breakfast nearly as much as i enjoyed that first beer.
We got ourselves a Taxi into Paquis where we were told it all goes on. Well it didn’t look like much was going on as it was still early evening about six,. We were told by the taxi driver to go down the Rue du Bern then nip down a little side street the a Rue Charles - Cusin I tell you this cause if your ever over there you’ve got to check this road out, its teeming with totty, you look this way or that way , theres high heels and tight skirts and arse everywhere, a divorcees dream. Anyway we pop into this small bar, i didn’t honestly know, I didn’t , know although i’m pretty sure Reg did, that it was a Brothel till we sat down and ordered our beers. There must of been a dozen young girls come over to the table, there were movies playing on the TV and on the big screen in the centre of the bar and they weren’t the ones you’d take your mother to see, i can tell you. Anyway the evening progressed and we got you know, leathered, as you do. We ordered a couple of bottles of champers, you know as you do in those kind a places and I well I won’t go into too much detail but it was a lot of fucking fun till about midnight. And then we, er, got turfed out, cause Reg he some fucking strange ideas of what to do with one of the birds, it involved an electric drill and dildo and of course they threw us out.
24.(THE BEST COWBOYS HAVE CHINESE EYES) Thetworegs
We went into the Casino and i put everything i’d got in my wallet ,about a couple of grand on number 27 on the roulette and i’ll be fucked if it didn’t come in, nearly Eighty fucking grand of it. I nearly fucking chocked on me cigar i dropped me fucking pint it well everywhere. t i apologized and got away with. Now the night really began, Reg wanted to go back to the Brothel to finish what he started but i said no, no, no, lets go dancing. Lets have some fun.So thats where we went next, we went off,dancing, fucking hell of a night it was, we had a fucking hell of a time.
25.(DANCING ON MY OWN) Thetworegs & David & Norm
I got talking to this turk and he sold about an ounce of coke, so me Reg nipped of to toilet for a quick sniff. Fucking Reg laid out a couple of lines as thick as his forefinger and we woofed up up our fucking noses and hit the dance floor. I felt incredible totally clear headed and king of the fucking world. After a bit of dancing we took a table ordered some more champers and put the world to rights for the rest of the night with several trips back and fourth to the lave to rejuvenate. By the time we’d left the club in the morning we’d done the fucking coke and about Three grand but it was worth it we were buzzing like a couple of fuck pigs, who weren’t done yet. we fucking slipped out into the dawn , Laughing our fucking heads off what a nigh, Ha! Ha! What a night!
26.(DRINKING AGAIN) Thetworegs
Reg and i got separated somehow, he just disappeared. I know he’s meant to be part of me but it must have all just got too much for him. The come down off the coke was horrifying, i plummeted like a 30 stone woman without a parachute. Down i went. Woosh! It must of been about lunch time, 1 o’clock or something when we left the last club. Talk about an all nighter, i’m sure if you had enough stamina, money and gear you could live in them fucking places they never shut. I was wandering back to the hotel when nipped into the Supermarket to get me self a bottle to help the come down. I got me self a nice single malt, now that warmed me cockles, but did me no fucking good for me mood no good at all it got me thinking about, her. Why…why, why had she given in…i’m not that fucking hard to live with, am I? Fuck! oh! Fuck!
- (VOICES IN THE NIGHT) Thetworegs
I finally got back to me room, absolutely leathered, i’d met a lad on the way and had bought a little skunk off him. You only need a little of that stuff especially if you’ve been drinking the quantity i had. I rolled a nice large one with intention of passing out as soon as i’d finished it. I remember how sweet it tasted, it was a matter of milli seconds before i felt the glow from it in me blood and in me head. It sent me off, i went and laid on the bed as i was rushing like a fuck pig. As i lay i started to think about my time in Geneva and the learning curve i’d been. I still hadn’t heard hide nor hair of Reg, maybe the coke had done him in, but i doubt it. I drifted of into mixture of dream and sleep while still being awake. and then, there he was,he was back, She’s not coming back you know, not even if this does work with the Doc ,you burned her mate, you burned her too bad.With him saying that i knew it was the truth, life with her had gone. I shut my eyes The skunk mixed with alcohol made beautiful patterns behind my eyelids and i lay there looking at them trying to wipe her, out of me mind drifted of into thought.
28.(THE DAGGER OF TRUTH) Thetworegs
It was funny but i woke up quite early, the sun wasn’t fully up. I was clear headed,it must have been the dream i’d had. i felt like a born again Christian, clean like i’d just been baptized. So i put a stop to that straight a way and roll a beauty up, smoking it by the window, they call it Skunk, but i reckon it smells beautiful. D day was getting closer this time tomorrow i was saying to me self i’ll be in with the Doc doing whatever he wants me too, so today is the last day of my wicked life. So Reg pipes up you’d better make it good un then hadn’t you, of which i had every intention of doing. So i had breakfast, from the mini bar using my stomach as the cocktail shaker. I was up and running i grabbed me wallet and i was out. As i walked out the Hotel, a bus stopped right in front of me so i jumped on i mean i was up for an adventure weren’t i.
29.(DOUBLE DECKER BLUE) Thetworegs
What a ride it was, i staid on the bus for most of the day. I ate the rest of the skunk that i had, i mean there was only about an eighth or so left. It was brilliant at top there, at the top of this old double decker bus it was open top, and i sat up right at the front at t the top. I stood up letting the wind and different smells blow in my face, i was like an Alsatian with its head out of the window, loving every minute of i was. The more the air rushed by me the higher i got, looking at the sights as they flashed by in a blur. I had to keep sitting back in the seat as the rushes kept knocking me back , hee! hee! as i got higher and higher you know as it does. I must of staid on there most of the day, mostly because cause i couldn’t get of the fucker, i was too smashed. Every time we saw a pretty girl, me and Reg that is, we shouted Whore, as loud as we possibly could and with that rush that comes with that, you know, lack of breath and that and the little stars we fell back in the seat laughing our fucking heads off. Luckily i don’t thinks any of the passengers like, spoke any English, or cared anyway they didn’t say anything, they did look at us a bit strange but you know thats the way it is ain’t it. When we did finally get of the bus we could hardly speak, our throats were fucking horse, they were, but boy did we have a laugh, fucking hell we laughed
- (TODAY IS THE DAY) Thetworegs
I was up early again, keen. I showered and got dressed into some clean clothes. I wanted to impress, don’t ask me why. I got the chap downstairs to order me a taxi, as i didn’t want to be late trying to find the place. I got there on the dot of 10 and entered Doctor Swarthogs waiting room there were four of us in there, all looking rather well turned out for four out of control alcoholics. I was feeling a bit shaky, as i hadn’t had a drink, well only the one, a little sniffter of Vodka but not enough to shake the shakes if you know what i mean. Anyway we all were all called in at the same time into a large room, done out like someones lounge, it was all blue the settee, the shelving, the curtains had flexes of all the colors of the rainbow on them, that reflected onto the light Grey carpet covering the floor when the sunlight shone on them. The shelves held a stereo system, a number of Lp’s and a load of books, along with some choice ornaments two candle of a couple of characters out of the Lord of the rings, a little white fat buddha sitting crossed legged.The coffee table was covered in well thumbed magazines. On the window sill was vase with some Tiger lilies in and weirdly both doors were covered in large posters of Disney characters. It felt very friendly, snug, if you could imagine a room that held no bad feelings, no fear this is the one you’d imagine. The Dr came into the room and explained the days proceeding, he was going do a series of therapies with us and we would be working as a group. So he got us to stand and introduce ourselves like it was an AA meeting, after this the nurse came in with four glasses of fruit juice which we were told also held the lsd. Old Dr S asked us all to drink it and told us the effects would take a while to start. He put a record onto the stereo and told us to relax and sat back in his armchair, watching us, trying not to be obvious.